I know it’s right there in the title, because I couldn’t resist, but I actually had the script for this one before “selfie” entered the popular lexicon.
I feel guilty admitting this, like the person in question is somehow going to find out, but this one is based on a real life experience. A girl I know, a Facebook acquaintance, posted an album of holiday photos and every last one of them was a picture of her.
Why do we travel, anyway? To broaden our horizons? To make contact with new people and new cultures? To seek out new– wait, that’s Star Trek. I’m doing Star Trek.
Do we travel for those reasons or is it just so we can prove to the world that we’re still hot in another time zone?
People lament how annoying posting pictures of your food is, but at least that would’ve given us a glimpse of the local cuisine.
You know what the most surprising part for me was? I Googled selfies of the exact places featured in my ridiculous examples (so I could get the backgrounds and colour schemes exactly right, yes I’m obsessed, no that’s not the worst part) and every single one had a real life example.
Because of course they did. I’m so God damned naïve sometimes. If the angelic trumpets blared to signal the end of the world, someone would snap a picture of their face with the four horsemen baring down on them in the background. Yes, these are the end times. But look what my hair’s doing today!
Of course, I’m saying all this from the perspective of a man with no hair whatsoever and a face like a handful of misshapen lumps in a sack made out of elbow skin. Jealous? Is a fish jealous of frogs because they can breathe on land? I don’t even have the necessary data to become jealous.