What is up, my homies? I have made a new comic. I believe it is the shit.

Today is the day I join the ranks of the employed and become a wheel in the capitalist machine. I am, as of today, a trainee customer arrears advisor. Actually, I’m a debt collector. This is not information HBOS wished to divulge in the job advert, however, and therefore I applied for the job of customer arrears advisor without actually knowing what one was. I knew there was a good salary and benefits as well as a yearly bonus. I knew the hours were acceptable. I just didn’t know what I was doing (as always).

As far as I’m aware, debt collecting no longer entails appearing on the doorsteps of unsuspecting debtors and beating twelve kinds of shit out of them. Now, we sit in call centres, phone people up and persuade them to pay back the money themselves. I suppose if they refuse, there’s nothing much we can really do save asking them to beat twelve kinds of shit out of themselves. This job is going to test my powers of persuasion to the limit.

Anyway, I saw The Fantastic Four on Saturday. It wasn’t fantastic as such but it was original. No-one’s super-powers caused them great pain or landed them with a burden of great responsibility. There wasn’t even much of a plot. Basically, a bunch of pretty people gain super-powers and do exactly what anyone else would do. They think it’s cool. The villain doesn’t really appear until the end and is then easily defeated. Fun is had by all and the audience has a few laughs. Like I said, it’s original. The film has little in the way of substance but it isn’t trying to be substantial. A.I. was trying to be substantial but just ended up being boring. Just think, they could have made a fun film about cool robots. Just as silly, more entertaining.

Let me make this clear, The Fantastic Four was crap. But it was the endearing, enjoyable kind of crap. A good film to see with friends. Any movie in which Jessica Alba has to strip naked in order to be invisible is fine by me, even if she was horribly miscast. I can’t think of a single film which could not benefit from Jessica Alba removing clothing.

More on my first day of work on Wednesday, after I’ve actually been.