You guys are aware that Life on the Fourth Floor is a comedy site, right? The strip is not to be taken seriously and neither are the news posts. The purpose is merely to entertain rather than to hurt. I think I might have got my first hate mail today. The insults therein were carefully concealed but I think I genuinely hurt this guy Phil’s feelings.

He sent me an e-mail commenting on my lack of tact and sensitivity in the last post about the WCCA presentations. It made me seriously think about what I write here for once. Until now I wasn’t aware that anybody actually read this stuff or that it matters in the slightest to them.

I don’t want to have to punctuate every sentence with smiley faces made from colons and brackets and I don’t want to have to put ‘just kidding!’ in parentheses after every paragraph, either. So I just want to get this straight now, once and for all.

I do not take myself or anything in this world seriously. There is nothing I will not make jokes about. You should not take me at all seriously. I’m a putz. My comic and my opinions are silly. Don’t get upset. I love you, Phil.

Jess, I think your picture of a ‘screaming and glowing creature’ was very good and looked nothing like a pink bat. I just said that because I wanted to sound like a tough guy. I was just kidding. I do not think that choosing your own unorthodox way of presenting an award is a travesty. The seas have yet to boil and the sky has not fallen. I was just kidding. Weird guy from, whilst I may not agree with your drawing style I will defend to the death your right to draw in it. I was just kidding.

This could go on for some time. You get the picture. If anyone else feels saddened and ashamed by my news post from Thursday, I’ll take it down or distribute smiley faces accordingly. :)

By the way, that thing where I claim to be the funniest comic with ‘floor’ in the title is also a joke. I think 7th Floor and The Floor is Lava are much funnier than my strip and I read them every day. I sometimes wake up weeping because I want to read more of those strips but the artists haven’t updated yet.

That last sentence wasn’t true. That was also a joke. As a man I am incapable of crying. That isn’t true either, that was also a joke. And 7th Floor hasn’t updated since 2002.

Seriously, I could do this all day. Just kidding.