Yes! I did it! Two years, bitches! When I first started drawing this comic back in ’04 it was awful. Well, maybe not awful — that would be unfair to the countless genuinely awful comics out there. But it wasn’t great. Maybe it’s not great now — but it’s greater. Maybe some day it will be the greatest. Okay, maybe not. I’m never going to be the best cartoonist in the universe (maybe top 10… some day) but for the first time in my life I can stand with my feet shoulder-width apart, my fists on my hips, and breathe in a deep contented sigh and say — with no trace of uncertainty — that I am a cartoonist. A real cartoonist. My whole life I have been a guy who draws cartoons but just as a tree falling in the woods unheard makes no sound you are not a cartoonist without readers.

And I have readers. You guys. (Okay, not just you guys — the three or four people that actually read the news posts — but everyone else who reads the comic). Two years ago I had no readers. Now I have 1238 readers a month. I didn’t make that happen — you did. Today isn’t about me, it’s about you. Without you I would just be a normal guy. A normal incredibly sexy guy. But thanks to you I am a cartoonist. If you are reading this now I want you to give yourself a big hug and a little pat on the back because just by showing up here twice a week and laughing with me (or smiling a little and going “heh” with me) you have changed my life for the better. The only way I can repay you is by drawing you free cartoons forever. I hope you like them.

With that in mind please enjoySaturday’s comic — today! Monday! But Mondays are the new Saturdays, no matter what Garfield says. There now follows a retrospective list of all the things I have found out I liked about the world of webcomics in the past two years:

  1. Podcasts
  2. Wapsi Square
  3. Having people read my comic
  4. Having people give me feedback on my comic
  5. Comicspace
  6. Penny and Aggie
  7. Rob and Elliot

And now all the things I’ve found out I hated about the world of webcomics in the past two years:

  1. Scott McCloud
  2. Tim Buckley
  3. Collaboratively-drawn comic award ceremonies
  4. “New worlds. New dreams.”
  5. People who post in the description part of their comic “Here’s my awful webcomic, doesn’t it suck?” because they have no grasp of how irony works and thus think that by openly stating their obvious shortcomings they can somehow make people think the opposite must be true and then, when their readers find out that the comic really does suck, they’ll find their honesty so endearing they’ll love the comic anyway
  6. Morons (see above)
  7. Furry comics
  8. Lancaster the Ghost Detective
  9. Having people give me feedback on my comic

Well there it is. My list of hate is considerably longer than my list of love but who the hell cares? It’s not as if anyone has read this far, right? Oh yeah.

     10. People who don’t read my news posts

There. See you next year for the three-years-look-at-me-gloatfest-extravaganza.