Life on the Fourth Floor

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Final Star Fantasy Wars

Sep05
by David Bishop on 5th September 2007 at 18:28
Posted In: Blog

A new comic is up. There seems to be an unmistakable Thundercats flavour present in the past two weeks’ comics. I assure you this happened completely by accident and it will not become ‘a thing’ that we do here at Fourth Floor Comics. Again, I am as pleased as some sort of punch-like beverage, tickled a number of shades of pink, with how the strip looks with backgrounds. I have actually avoided setting strips in the hallway outside the two flats with few exeptions and as a result the living situation itself — that Jack, Michael and Bob live together and Amy and Charlotte live across the hall — has alluded some of my readers. This is understandable since in the past, all that distinguished locales was a different colour wall in the background — a single infinite 2D wall without floor, ceiling or decoration. Those days are gone and we are in the future-times now.

Okay now I want to talk about Final Fantasy XII. This is old news even for me. I have in the past made Final Fantasy comics and even a (very) short news post to announce… that the game existed. But for most people the airship has sailed. Well, since I spend most of my time reading and writing about 500-year-old works of literature, a game that was published as recently as February is still new in my book. Life on the Fourth Floor is not a video-game comic. It’s about life (specifically on a floor), of which video games are a part, but it is not the only topic on which I am prepared to write. Since most of the comics have been written a full year before their date of publication there seems to be a strong feeling of the past in the comic, with comics about old adverts, old games, old films and old TV shows. Call it nouveaux-retro. Again, this was accidental but this time it is ‘a thing’. So, without further apology, I present yesterday’s news today.

I’ve been playing Final Fantasy for the whole summer. Everyone will tell you the game looks beautiful but I’ve noticed the feel of the visuals — the lighting, the design of the buildings and the creatures you talk to — carry with them a certain Jim-Henson-creature-workshop feel, if you know what I mean, that I find charming. My reaction to the battle system was not love at first sight but, as is the nature of true love, I grew to love it over time. It literally depicts what previous systems have tried to represent — it’s quicker, it’s convenient and it’s unpredictable. All in all A+. Now, onto the real meat of the post: the similarity between the game and the original Star Wars trilogy.

I know I have fandango’d in the past with drawing fairly abstract comparisons between very different works but… come on. My friend James (who actually appears in today’s comic) has noticed this, too. Are there others? Are we alone in this belief? Let’s list some of the things they have in common. By the way, this list will contain spoilers (of both Final Fantasy and Star Wars) but I’ll endeavour to avoid them where possible. (This is where writing months after the release of the game comes in handy.) Stop reading now unless you’ve played the game and seen the film trilogy or you don’t care.

Final Fantasy XII

Star Wars

1. Desert starting location for young idealistic hero.

Yes

(Dalmasca)

Yes

(Tatooine)

2. Rebel forces

Yes

(The Resistance)

Yes

(Rebel Forces)

3. Exiled princess

Yes

(Ashe)

Yes

(Leia)

4. Eblematic masked, cloaked, armoured villain related to (a) hero

Yes

(Basch/Gabranth)

Yes

(Luke/Darth Vader)

5. Armoured force bearing stylistic resemblance to emblematic villain

Yes

(Judges — inc. Gabranth/Imperial Troops)

Yes

(Darth Vader/Storm Troopers)

6. Evil empire

Yes

(Archadian Empire)

Yes

(The Empire)

7. Evil emperor who gained power through political manipulation and generally being a dick

Yes

(Vayne)

Yes

(The Emperor)

8. Dashing, charismatic pirate hero

Yes

(Balthier)

Yes

(Han Solo)

9. Freaking sweet air/spaceship for pirate hero

Yes

(The Strahl)

Yes

(The Milennium Falcon)

10. Tree-dwelling non-human companion to pirate hero whose duties include kicking ass and maintaining the ship

Yes

(Fran the Viera)

Yes

(Chewbacca the Wookie)

11. Villain who is father of (a) hero

Yes

(Balthier/Dr Cid)

Yes

(Luke/Darth Vader)

12. Sand people

Yes

(Urutan-Yensa)

Yes

(Tusken Raiders)

13. Betrayal by ally

Yes

(Vossler)

Yes

(Lando Calrissian)

14. Bearded ally sacrifices life for party

Yes

(Reddas)

Yes

(Obi-Wan Kenobi)

15. Dead character reappears as spectral apparition

Yes

(Lord Rasler)

Yes

(Obi-Wan Kenobi)

16. Sky city

Yes

(Bhujerba)

Yes

(Cloud City)

17. Ice locale

Yes

(Paramina Rift)

Yes

(Hoth)

18. Jungle locale

Yes

(Golmore Jungle)

Yes

(Dagobah)

19. Forest locale

Yes

(Feywood)

Yes

(Endor)

20. Magical force

Yes

(Mist)

Yes

(The Force)

21. Diminutive cute characters

Yes

(Moogles)

Yes

(Ewoks)

22. Green bounty hunter

Yes

(Ba’gamnan)

Yes

(Bobba Fett)

23. Forgotten order of knights

Yes

(Knights of Dalmasca)

Yes

(Jedi)

24.Weird two-legged steeds

Yes

(Chocobos)

Yes

(Tauntauns)

25. Ass names for everything

Yes

No

26. Completely stupid names for everthing

No

Yes

 

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Open Mic Night at the Robot Poetry Club

Sep04
by David Bishop on 4th September 2007 at 10:14
Posted In: Blog

This tickled me. Some spam managed to get through my filters like a salmon escaping the net and, underneath a huge advert for discount software and the opportunity to catch a virus (which is a cute way of saying my computer would be worked over by a team of grizzled, hairy-armed men), was the following poem:

Of too much truth to do much more than lie

Choces, Mère and Père, undreaming even of fields

Choces, Mère and Père, undreaming even of fields

Appendices

Snaps of ice cracking in the hidden air.

As it sits there like an eventual

IX. After the Great Northern Expedition

at balls hit again and again toward her offspring.

And piled up at the base of the columns

He is harsh, dismal, ice—that is, exiled;

shortcake, waffles, berries and cream

—Now that you notice it—have just moved past

What can we know of whatever picture-plane

The purest form is always the one

No name, no meaning. Oh my friends,

Standing in the way of the truth. A white

Sculpting each tree to fit your ghostly form.

Pallid waste where no radiant fathomers,

And the worlds—skiffs rudderless, rolling on—

It’s hauntingly beautiful. Or haunting beauty as described by a crazy robot. “He is harsh, dismal, ICE—that is, exiled; shortcake, waffles, berries and cream.” Magnificent.

└ Tags: Bayesian poisoning, Bayesian spam filtering, berries and cream, e-mail, ice, non sequitur, poem, poetry, random, robot, salmon, shortcake, spam, spam filter, spammer, statistical type ii error, T S Eliot, waffles
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Hear My Words Of Wisdom

Aug31
by David Bishop on 31st August 2007 at 22:51
Posted In: Blog

Wearing your underwear backwards: the silent fashion statement.

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I Cried Like a Little Girl Would Cry

Aug30
by David Bishop on 30th August 2007 at 17:02
Posted In: Blog

Just a quick one today. There was no room for it in the last news post but I saw Knocked Up yesterday. I won’t submit a detailed critical analysis because I’m not a critic. All I will say is this: if you haven’t seen it yet I would recommend that you do because whilst the year is not yet at an end, Knocked Up is a strong contender for comedy of said year. I laughed throughout, often and loud — genuine laughter from the heart. Not only was it genuinely funny but it was also a good film full stop. I cried thrice. You don’t have to agree with me but if you don’t you’re a crazy person. That is all.

└ Tags: babies, baby, comedy, crying, good movie, Knocked Up, movie, movies, review, tears before bedtime
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Final Readership Update — With Mathematics!

Aug26
by David Bishop on 26th August 2007 at 12:09
Posted In: Blog

We did it! I say we, I mean you. You did it. As of now the average number of readers to this site every day is 257. The target was 246. I can’t believe what I’m typing. My fingers are moving, I’m looking at the screen… Seven days ago I asked the readers of this comic to tell a friend about the comic and thus double our readership. And they did it. You did it. I asked you to do something and… you did it! That’s never happened before. It feels kinda nice. I’m tempted to push it and ask you to bring me an egg sandwich or, I don’t know, the head of Tim Buckley on a plate. But I won’t. For now and maybe forever this moment is enough for me.

We have gone from 123 page-views/day last week to 257 today. That’s an increase of… let me work this out… 134 pages. Wow, that can’t be right. That many? Wow. Let’s take it further.

We have gone from 99 page-views/day last month to 257 this month. That’s 158 pages. Hey, that felt good. Let’s have another.

Last month our total number of pages was 1993. That’s a lot. I was 7 in 1993. Sorry, too much maths. This month our total number of pages is… drum roll… 6183! And it’s not even the end of the month! That’s crazy. We have three times the readers we had before. In fact, that’s three times the readers we’ve ever had.

Give yourselves a pat on the back. You have made my week. It may seem like chicken-feed to the big-ass comics but for me this is huge. Thank-you. I believe I said something about free wallpapers. Well, I’ve drawn some and I’m working on the rest. These are going to be professional wallpapers, too. Not that dross we’ve got on the wallpapers page now. Photo shops will be employed. I’m going to do one for each character. Watch this space, more as and when yadda yadda yadda. Now would be a good time to announce, since announcements are being made, that Wednesday’s comic is going to be 10-panels long with new full-blown backgrounds and celebrity cameos. And it will be made entirely out of gold.

Okay, I lied about the gold. God, 6183. You guys are a mountain of fantastic. You know how I said we had to do 100 times better? Well now it’s, like, 40 times. Maths is fun.

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