Life on the Fourth Floor

Just a quick one. I am typing with fingers numb with shock. I repeat these numbers with the suspicion that there most be some kind of error. According to the site stats we are at… are you ready for this?… 225 page views/a day. I can’t believe it was just six days ago I appealled to you the reader to help me double the comic’s readership in a week. Today, on the sixth day, we have nearly done just that. That’s 68 new readers in one day and, overall, 102 since the 19th. Fuck ye-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-a-ah! I don’t know how you did it but I thank you. Is it too much to hope that we can get the last, uh, 21 pages by tomorrow? Honestly, I don’t care. Nothing can bring me down from this high. I promise you that I will do my best to bring the comic up to a standard worthy of this calibre of reader. Peace out, my children.

Hey, there’s a new comic up. I really like this one. I like them all. But I think you’ll be able to figure out why I like this one so much. Okay, onto the readership drive. Today we’re at 152 pages/day. Nine new readers in one day! This thing is increasing exponentially — snowball style. If you haven’t tied a friend down and forced them to read this comic do it today! If you’ve already shown the comic to a friend but you still want to do your part this week then please vote for the strip onBuzzcomix. I don’t care about getting to number one, that’s not why I’m doing it — that would be shallow and unrealistic. I’m on there because the higher we climb up the list, the more people get exposed to the strip and the numbers go up. With your help, I’m positive we can reach the goal by the end of the week. Just 94 pages to go! We’re more than half way there! I’m drawing the wallpapers now.

Hey guys, I really like today’s comic. I put a lot of unnecessary work into making it sparkle but I wanted to do something special for you people after this awesome week of awesomeness and what has really been an awesome month, an awesome summer. Therefore, I threw in lots of little details such as celebrity cameos, special beverage names in panel two and this:

I’m thinking maybe that could go on a t-shirt some day. We’ll see. Anyways, I went on a roller-coaster for the first time yesterday. In fact, I went on about 8 roller-coasters yesterday. I went to Alton Towers with Jason, Neil and James my crazy movie buddies. As it turns out I didn’t get to see Transformers with them but that film’s awesome whoever you see it with. So anyway, Towers. Specifically, Alton ones. It was great. I can’t describe it in this news post. Just imagine me frightened, excited, ecstatic, breathless and dizzy all at once, stumbling off Oblivion or some other similarly scarily-named ride shouting “That was so ASS!” at the top of my voice. That kind of became the catchphrase of the day, in fact, which has been the first time my friends and I have spent a day quoting something I made. I did it!

As the day wore on we became increasingly psyched and increasingly cliquey until one man turned around in a queue and told James that he was expressing himself too much, rudely, and it was ruining his otherwise silent queuing experience and suggested that he might shut the fuck up. James pointed out, with the aid of friendly glove puppets, that there was a degree of hypocrisy in suggesting that someone should be ‘more fucking polite’. The man was shamed into silence and the fun continued uninterrupted until late into the night.

So anyway, my day was fun upon a bun of some description as anyone else who has queued for an hour for a minute of undiluted joy can verify. For anyone else such a long queue might present a deterrent and they will never know what they are missing out on. It’s essentially a microcosm of all our lives if you think about it. Also, wood pigeon.